


Like broken thunder & lightning in a bottle

by daydreamwithyou



Category: Criminal Minds (US TV)
Genre: F/M, Garvez, Secret Relationship, Songfic
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-29
Updated: 2020-05-27
Packaged: 2021-03-01 21:13:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 8,291
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23903659
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/daydreamwithyou/pseuds/daydreamwithyou
Summary: It all started out a few months ago when she accepted an invitation for coffee, in an attempt to know him better. Soon she found herself spending time with Luke outside of work more often than she would like to admit. She refused to believe they were dates, and he was still trying to figure out what it was but he knew what he wanted them to be.One thing she was clear about: they weren’t telling anyone about it. So no one knew that Penelope Garcia and Luke Alvez spent almost every weekend together, when the team wasn’t on a case.
Relationships: Luke Alvez/Penelope Garcia
Comments: 2
Kudos: 58





	1. Love you on the weekends

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by Wars by Of Monsters and Men

_ “ _ _ I still have pieces of you stuck on me _

_ Pieces of you stuck on me _

_ Yeah, I love you on the weekends _

_ It's a cruel war _

_ Cold but you glow _

_ Like the streets of Tokyo _

_ It's alright, we can stay lost here forever” _

It all started out a few months ago when she accepted an invitation for coffee, in an attempt to know him better. Trying to cut him some slack as Derek suggested. Soon she found herself spending time with Luke outside of work more often than she would like to admit. She refused to believe they were dates, and he was still trying to figure out what it was but he knew what he wanted them to be.

One thing she was clear about: they weren’t telling anyone about it. So no one knew that Penelope Garcia and Luke Alvez spent almost every weekend together, when the team wasn’t on a case. They would go to the movies, have dinner, see art galleries, go to concerts, or they simply stay in and enjoyed each other’s company.

Since the first day Luke stepped into the BAU, she knew she was attracted to him. And it scared the life out of her. The result of that was Penelope being distant with him at first. Her annoyance with him was real, in the beginning, the reason of that was she didn’t want the rest of the team to think this guy could be her new Derek. No one could replace Derek Morgan in a million years, he was her best friend and the bond they shared was very special and close to her heart. Then her annoyance had to do with the fact that the less she wanted to feel drawn to Luke, the more she did.

That was somewhat in the past seeing she was now cuddling with Roxy in his couch, after having dinner cooked by Luke. As he sat by her side, he could feel Penelope tense, he was a profiler and he knew she was mortified about having to put a label to whatever it was, she thought he would bring the subject anytime and as much as he wanted to, Luke didn’t want to pressure the matter.

Penelope was afraid she might end up hurt, as she usually did, mostly because relationships and commitment were not her area of expertise. With Kevin, she was happy but when she found out he wanted to propose, she knew the answer to that question immediately: no. As much as it pained her because she loved him very much, she wasn’t ready and didn’t believe to ever be ready for taking a big step.

With Sam something similar happened, he insisted on moving in together, but she kept avoiding the subject until he realized it and decided to end the relationship since it wasn’t moving forward.

Things with Luke were different, ever since the beginning she felt something that she hadn’t felt before, it was terrifying and exciting at the same time. And she was willing to take things slowly and give it a try.

“You’re more than welcome to stay tonight.” Luke offered kindly.

“Thank you, but I think I better go.” She got up and started looking her purse.

“You don’t need to go right now, I wasn’t trying to- “ He quickly got up too and then got interrupted by Penelope.

“I know, Luke, it’s just I have things to do tomorrow morning, you know getting groceries, and other errands so yeah.” 

“You could stay and we can do that tomorrow, together” Penelope looked at him “No funny business, ok? Just stay.”

“I really can’t but thanks for the offer.” She petted Roxy and then proceeded to say goodbye to Luke “Thank you for today, it was really nice” She smiled and before she could think twice she kissed him.

“Any time, Penelope, let me walk you to your car.”

“It’s okay, Luke, I’m a big girl, I’ll let myself out.”

“Not a chance, maybe I can earn another goodnight kiss” He shot her a playful smile and with that he was leading her out the door.

Penelope thought about his offer all the way home, she would’ve love to stay but was afraid of making it a habit, more often than not they were crashing at each other’s apartments and she wasn’t sure how she felt about it.

Was it too soon? Was it right? It was a war of head versus heart and she didn’t know what to do but she did know how she felt, only she was too terrified to say it out loud.


	2. I get carried away from you

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Inspired by Carried Away by Passion Pit

_ “ _ _ Listen, I'm your friend, don't quote me _

_ But not a friend worth noting _

_ Yes, please don't ever note me as your friend _

_ Who says we have cold hearts? _

_ Acting out our old parts _

_ Let’s perform my favorite little scene, _

_ I get carried away, carried away, from you _

_ And I’m hoping and I’m praying _

_ 'Cause I'm sorry, sorry 'bout that _

_ Sorry 'bout things that I've said _

_ Always let it get to my head” _

It was another day on the job, they had a brand new case after a couple days of only consulting, luckily for everyone it was a local case developing in Washington.

Emily, Luke and Matt stayed in the BAU to work on the victimology with the help of Garcia, after a few hours they still hadn’t figure it out yet which was stressing everyone but especially Penelope, so Luke decided to prepare her some tea and bring it to her.

“Here Garcia, I think you need this” He placed the mug beside her computer “It’s the one you bought the other day” He said without thinking, lucky for him, nobody seemed to notice the comment but Penelope’s shocked face meant she did.

Penelope was about to lose her cool and she was trying to get as far away as possible from Luke Alvez, or she might cause a scene in front of everyone. Her heels hurried away from the bullpen, trying to go anywhere but there. It wasn't her lucky day seeing as Luke was just outside her office's door.

She tried to turn around and hide in the bathroom if she needed to until Luke stopped trying to talk to her. He immediately saw her and he just knew she was avoiding him, he caught up with her quite easily as he wasn't wearing those high heels.

"Penelope, what's wrong? You are avoiding me, yet once again" He tried to play it cool, shooting her a goofy grin but deep down he was worried.

She just stared at him trying not to show the frustration she was feeling.

"Don't you dare telling me there's nothing wrong, remember SSA Luke Alvez with the BAU" He winked, while still having that precious smile of his on his lips.

She gently pushed him out of the way to walk to her lair and opened the door, he followed closely behind and after closing both doors, she turned to him trying not to show the frustration in her voice.

"That, right there, that is what is wrong" He looked clueless and she felt like punching him. "Okay, let me break it down to you, SSA Luke Alvez, you've been acting all week like we're friends" She moved her hands desperately while she talked, as if that could give away the message she was trying to give him.

"Ok, but aren't we friends?" Luke looked at her confused.

"We are, but all week, you've been making comments about how I got a new pair of glasses a few weeks ago, and how that new tea that I got at the farmer's market is really good, among other things and it makes me uncomfortable ok?" She looked at him with her big beautiful eyes and Luke just wanted to hold her.

"Ok" He spoke softly "May I ask why? I'll try my best to not make those type of comments but I'm curious" He had a soft expression and Penelope felt a little guilt about the way she was handling her feelings.

"It's just, what if the rest of the team catch on what's going on, this" She gestured both of them with her hands “Whatever it is we have going on" She looked down, a little embarrassed she might have overreacted.

Luke laughed softly and took her hands, no one was there anyway, he was allowed one small gesture.

"Pen, I-" He wanted to tell her that he didn't mind at all if the team, or the entire FBI for that matter, found out about them. 

He was reaching the point where he just wanted to stop hiding things. Hiding the relationship he was sure they had, it lacked the label but everything else screamed relationship. And the best one he had in, well, forever. But then again, Penelope was not ready, and he respected that decision. He had to be patient. She was worth it. If he had to keep things for himself for a little longer, he'd work on it. She was worth all of it. 

"I'm sorry Luke, I get so paranoid, but I just don't feel ready to- I don't-" She trailed off, looking down once again.

Luke lifted her chin and looked in her eyes, he saw the fear, and as much as he tried to, he didn’t understand how or when that fear had started but he was almost certain, the fear Penelope felt had to do with something before him. He was waiting for the day where she would come clean with him. He wanted to be there for her.

"Alright, I understand, I'll keep my comments to myself and pretend we hate each other" He joked trying to make her laugh, all he got was a sad smile.

"Oh, newbie, I don't have to pretend" She seemed a little more cheerful.

"HA! Keep telling yourself that, Garcia" He winked as he walked towards the doors but was stopped by a hand holding his own and giving it a squeeze.

He looked at Penelope and squeezed her hand back. One day she would be ready to tell him the story behind her fear. He would also tell her how he had struggled to allow him to feel before her. 


	3. This heart is burning up

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Inspired by Tightrope by Walk The Moon

_ “ _ _ Easy now, with my heart _

_ Easy now, oh with my heart _

_ You walk a tightrope, walk a little tightrope _

_ This heart is burning up _

_ Careful now, oh with my head _

_ I said careful now, what you do to my head _

_ Well make your mind up, make your little mind up” _

The team had been away for almost a week and a half now and Penelope couldn’t take it anymore, it wasn’t the first time they’ve been away that long, in fact, once or twice the case lasted more than that, but Garcia couldn’t quite figure out why she was feeling so anxious.

She knew everyone was safe, they have been calling her asking for information that they needed. Well, except for one person: Luke Alvez. She had a habit of tracking down the team’s phones; after everything they’ve been through she felt it was good to keep tabs on them when they were on a case and that’s how she knew that Luke was at the police station, doing whatever it was he was doing but apparently not needing any information from her.

That’s when it hit her.

“You miss me” She heard Luke’s voice in her head and tried to ignore it. But she failed miserably as she started to think not only about his voice, but his face, his smile, his eyes, his body, his sense of humor, his way of listening to her, he was officially driving her crazy and she was not happy about it.

“Come on, I need to concentrate” She said to herself while she closed her eyes and took a sip of her tea. 

She continued digging into the lives of possible people of interest, she tried to type as fast as she could but failed every few minutes when her thoughts went back to Luke. This frustrated her enormously not only because she was missing him but because her being distracted and working slowly meant the team didn’t have the information they needed to catch the UnSub and come back home safely. 

The phone rang and she immediately picked up.

“I’m really trying, I am”

“Garcia, it’s okay, I actually needed you to research something else for me” JJ

sensed she was stressed.

“Ok, shoot” A sigh escaped her lips.

“Could you check Mary Morstan’s phone records? We believe she could be an accomplice but we need to make sure if any of the calls she made were suspicious”

“You got it, I’ll call you when I have something” She was about to hang up when JJ spoke.

“Are you okay? I just, I don’t know I feel this is taking a toll on you”

“I’m fine but you’ve been away for so long, I need this case to be over, so you can come home and this sick person stops doing these terrible things”

“I know, I really miss Will and the boys and you, of course, let’s hope it all ends soon”

“Ok, let’s get back to work so we can end it soon” Before she could think it twice something came out of her mouth “JJ, is Luke okay? I haven’t heard from him in a few days”

“Yeah, he’s actually here beside me”

“Oh, ok, well bye” She hung up before she or JJ said anything else.

She got up and walked to the bathroom so she could freshen up a little, just the thought of Luke being there and possibly knowing she was asking about him made her heart race. She wasn’t a middle school girl to feel like that, she thought.

Penelope went back to her office and started looking for the phone records JJ asked about. She started comparing phone numbers, to see if any of them stuck out and was connected somehow to other victims, but as much as she wanted to work fast her mind was not in the right place, it went back to Luke.

Luke Alvez was like a virus invading her mind and it was consuming her intelligence, apparently.

At that moment the phone started to ring and the name in her screen made her both happy and angry and she wasn’t sure if that call was exactly what she needed or what she dreaded.

“What do you need?” She kept typing as fast as she could but she swore her fingers were almost shaking.

“An address, we know who he is, we’re now trying to get to him before he does something else”

“Alright, tell me his name and I’ll send it to your phones”

“He’s Paul Gatiss, thanks Garcia, can’t wait to be back” And with that he hung up and she couldn’t help but smile, as quickly as her hands allowed she searched the name so her family could come home.

It was almost nine and she had caught up so much with paperwork and reports that she forgot to check what time the team was arriving. The doors to her lair, as she called it, opened and a tall men entered.

“Hey stranger” His voice almost gave her goosebumps.

“Hey newbie” She turned to see him with a neutral expression in her face.

“How you’ve been?” He dared to ask with a small smile in his lips.

Penelope stood up and started to gather her belongings and shutting off her screens “Great, ready to go home” 

“May I join you?” Luke was hopeful they could spend time together, he had missed her.

She looked like a deer caught in the headlights “Uh, it’s a school night, so maybe other day?” He came closer and she could feel her heartbeat racing.

“Come on, Pen, I know you missed me” He bit her lip.

“Uh, I don’t who told you that but they lied to you” She said more confidently as she picked up her bag and started walking towards the door.

“Not so fast, miss Garcia, I know for a fact you asked JJ about me” Penelope did her best to look unimpressed.

“Maybe you heard wrong” She shrugged her shoulders.

“Nuh-uh, I was right beside her and you were on speaker” 

Penelope’s face remained stoic but on the inside she was cursing JJ for a second.

“Yeah, well I didn’t hear from you, I thought you had vanished” By the end of the sentence her face softened.

“I know, I should’ve called you it-” Penelope cut him off.

“Oh, it’s fine, if you don’t have something to ask me you don’t need to call me” She shifted from one foot to another not wanting to have that conversation.

“It doesn’t matter, I should have called you, hell I wanted to but after what happened the other week, I thought I could give you some space” Luke almost seemed worried as to what she was going to reply, what he didn’t expected was Penelope coming closer to him and gently caressing the side of his face.

“I will admit I missed you” Penelope bit back her smile while Luke leaned into her touch.

“I missed you too, a lot” He turned his face so he could kiss her hand.

She finally gave in to her feelings “Wanna get out of here, newbie?” 

“What about tonight being a school night?” He teased.

“I think I can make an exception” She looked at him with narrowed eyes and a smirk.

“I won’t turn that offer down” He quickly pecked her on the lips before getting out of her office and rushing to get his to go bag that was in his desk.

Penelope sighed watching him disappear, she turned off the lights and closed both doors behind her, seeing him already standing by the elevator, he looked as he wasn’t well aware that she was walking towards him. When she finally got there, they didn’t say a thing, they didn’t even looked at each other, the only thing Penelope noticed out of the corner of her eye was Luke trying to fight the smile that threatened to appear in his face. 

Penelope remained there waiting for the elevator to come up and thought that maybe, just maybe having Luke in her mind wasn’t that bad and she could actually could get used to it.


	4. Sit next to me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Inspired by Sit Next to Me

_ “ _ _ Last call's around the corner _

_ Feeling kinda tempted _

_ And I'm pouring out the truth _

_ Just fading out these talkers 'cause now all I want is you, I'm saying _

_ Come over here sit next to me _

_ We can see where things go naturally _

_ Just say the word and I'll part the sea _

_ Just come over here and sit next to me _

_ And I'll take you high, high” _

It was the annual bureau softball game, it brought Penelope many memories of her best friend Derek, he always loved playing and giving his best to try and win.

This year she wasn’t rooting for her best friend, but she was rooting for a certain co-worker turned into friend turned into something else that sent chills down her spine. Sadly this time the FBI had lost to Secret Services. After the game, everyone went to the different food trucks to have lunch and enjoy the rest of the day without the stress of their jobs.

Luke was bummed that the bureau had lost but he was excited to be with Penelope and hang out with the rest of the team. She still wanted to keep everything on the downlow but they were both there and he wanted to have a good time, if only he could find her.

“Are you lost or something?” Matt teased.

“No, I’m looking for Garcia, I got her this vegetarian hot dog” Luke said while still looking around him.

“Sorry, man, I don’t know where she is but I’m sure she’ll appreciate the gesture”

“I just hope to find her before this goes cold, let me go check over there.” As he started walking he heard Matt.

“Alright, go find your girl” Matt said with a smirk and before Luke could even react, he went to find his family.

The truth was that everyone on the team had their money betting how long would it take for them to finally make things official and tell the rest of them. Especially Matt, Tara and JJ were certain there was something going on outside the BAU.

“There you are” Luke smiled widely.

“I saved you a sit” She said nonchalantly while looking some kids playing with a cute dog.

“What!? The queen of nice and moderation wants me to sit beside her, I am honored.”

“Take it or leave it, newbie.”

“No, no, I’ll gladly take it, here, I brought you something.” She smiled and thanked him.

After they were finished with their food, she offered some ice cream and they went on their search for dessert, once they found they sat on a bench where they saw people enjoying themselves. 

“Correct me if I’m wrong but I do believe you were rooting for me before.” He had felt happy and proud while listening to her say, or rather scream, his name everytime he was at bat. 

“I did, good job out there” Penelope offered a kind smile while she nudged his shoulder.

“It wasn’t enough, though, they kicked our asses out there.” Luke winced remembering the score.

Penelope smiled “Never mind, we’re still proud of all of you” 

“Thanks, so where is the rest of the gang? I figured you were with them”

“No, they all went to different places, after all this is a good time to see old acquaintances and friends, but since I’ve only been with the BAU there are not many people I recognize here.”

“You were in cyber crimes once” Penelope had totally forgotten about that time.

“You’re right but I still don’t see any familiar faces” She looked around “You could go and do that too, you know?”

“Nah, I’m good” Luke didn’t doubt answering.

“Seriously Luke, I can go and look for JJ, Will and the boys.” Penelope kindly offered, she knew Luke had some friends in the bureau.

“I wanna be with you. Honest” Luke wanted to hold her hand and kiss her so bad.

“Sometimes you’re just too smooth, Luke Alvez” Penelope involuntarily sighed while she looked at him with heart eyes.

“I mean it, it’s not always you let yourself be seen with me” He laughed.

“Luke…” He cut her off immediately.

“Don’t say anything, please, just hear me out” His smile remained “I do understand where you’re coming from, we work together after all and this is not the place to be showing PDA it’s just nice to be here next to you, talking, eating and enjoying ourselves”

Penelope leaned her head to his shoulder and squeezed his arm affectionately.

“I’ll never stop thanking my lucky stars for you Luke Alvez, never” Her words gave him a feeling that could only be translated in one word: love.

He wanted to tell her so bad how much he loved her but maybe it wasn’t the right time.


	5. Stay cool, it's just a kiss

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Inspired by Talk Too Much by COIN

_ “ _ _ Caffeine, small talk _

_ Wait out the plastic weather _

_ Mmhmm, uh uh, discussing current events _

_ I'll take my time _

_ I'm not the forward thinker _

_ You read my mind _

_ Better to leave it unsaid _

_ Why can't I leave it unsaid? _

_ You know I talk too much _

_ Honey, come put your lips on mine and shut me up _

_ We could blame it all on human nature _

_ Stay cool, it's just a kiss _

_ Oh, why you gotta be so talkative? _

_ I talk too much, we talk too much” _

“Hey Luke” Luke was unable to reply Spencer’s greeting because Penelope screamed for them to hold the elevator doors.

“Good morning guys! Thanks” She hurried to enter the elevator, not noticing the coffee cup from Lunacorn that Luke held that he had bought for her because Spencer was standing between them.

Luke decided to mess with her a little “Late night?” Penelope rolled her eyes and remained silent.

“Are you okay?” Spencer asked concerned for her friend.

“Uh, yes, sorry, what were you saying Luke?” She turned to see him with narrowed eyes.

“Did you have a late night?” She could see the smirk he was trying to hold back.

“No, there was a lot of traffic” And with that she once again turned to stop from looking at him and wished they were already out of the small space.

Spencer didn’t know exactly what it was, but he could sense some awkwardness there, he remembered some conversation JJ and Matt had about them, saying there was something going on between Luke and Penelope. 

“The weather is really nice today” Spencer tried to end the awkward silence that invaded the elevator.

“It is, Spence, I feel like today is going to be a great day” Luke seemed in a very cheerful mood and Penelope hated how much she wanted to kiss him right there.

“You look happy” Spencer stated while seeing a huge smile on Luke’s face.

“I am, I had a great night” He confessed and Penelope tried really hard to ignore the whole exchange.

Spencer then worried, what if Luke was seeing someone and Penelope would get hurt by it? He wasn’t great at figuring out that type of situations but even he had noticed the chemistry between his friends, so the possibility of Penelope finding out about something she didn’t needed to hear had him changing the subject.

“Oh, you know what? I think your happy mood could be related to the fact that it is Spring, during this season there is more daylight which helps us to produce more serotonin “Luke nodded waiting for Spencer to finish his explanation “...Therefore we feel better, happier”

“Maybe, but the truth is I am seeing someone, and she makes me really happy, Spring time or not, she’s…” Luke turned to see both of them, but mostly Penelope “Amazing” He smiled.

“Oh” Spencer looked nervous and almost uncomfortable while Penelope’s looked flustered.

“Uh, just… Would you mind keeping it a secret? I still am not ready to tell the rest of the team” He looked intently at Penelope and could swear he saw a smile.

With a tight lipped, almost forced smile Spencer replied “Sure, don’t worry, I won’t tell a soul”

“Garcia?” She turned to him and nonchalantly nodded.

“My lips are sealed, newbie” The doors opened two floors below theirs and Spencer stepped out.

“I need to get some reports for the case I’m consulting, see you guys later” The doors closed and Penelope sighed.

“You know something? I can’t with you” She didn’t sound mad as Luke expected she might be for bringing the subject to Spencer “You stand there, looking like that” She desperately moved her hands gesturing at him “And talk about this with that stupid smile on your face and I just, I, ugh” 

She moved her head and stared in disbelief at the man in front of her, Luke’s eyebrows furrowed not understanding what she was trying to say but the scene was adorable so he shot her a smile. 

“Stop, just stop looking at me like that and saying those things that make my heart…” She trailed off and before he could say anything she spoke up again “I think I might be in love with you and you’re not making it easier for me to just pretend I don’t feel something for you in front of people and oh my God, why are you just standing there and not shutting me up?” She took a step closer and took him by the shirt to kiss him.

Penelope thought Luke’s smile couldn’t grow any bigger and obviously she was wrong.

“Did you just-” The blonde haired hushed him.

“Shut up, don’t say a thing” She didn’t expect to blurt out her love confession during an elevator ride at work but there she was unable to keep her mouth shut as usual.

“I didn’t- “ Penelope shot daggers at him with her eyes.

“You’re doing it now, we’ll talk about it later” 

The doors opened and Penelope immediately stepped off, wanting to get away from the whole situation. Not before listening him confessing something in a low voice.

“I love you too, Penelope”


	6. High voltage when we kiss

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Inspired by Cardiac Arrest

_ “ _ _ My innards turn, your eyes, they roll, I'll be there to take the fall _

_ I can feel it now, oh no _

_ Same old story since day one, but I've got no place to run _

_ I can see it now, oh no _

_ I'll try my best, how much do I invest? _

_ Like cardiac arrest, high voltage in her lips _

_ I'll try my best, how much do I invest? _

_ Like cardiac arrest, high voltage when we kiss” _

Luke almost stayed there but he reacted in time to get out of the elevator, he couldn’t wrap his head around the words she had just told him. She loved him, she was in love with him. He had wanted to tell her the exact same words for a few weeks now but he didn’t want to scare her off.

Now, she had been the first to speak out loud what they, now he knew, both felt. And it made him excited as to what it meant. Did it mean they were making things official? Did it mean they could finally tell the others?

Her confession opened up in his mind the expectations he was too afraid to admit. Truth was he knew he was in love with her but there was more to it, something he still couldn’t figure out but knowing that she felt the same way about him made him inexplicable hopeful for the future. A future together, perhaps.

He got to his desk, greeted his co-workers and friends and remained quieter than usual, trying to get his work done and not to overthink about what had happened in the elevator. 

“We have a case” Emily announced, they all gathered in the conference room and unfortunately for him, it wasn’t local, they had to fly to Seattle. He waited for everyone to leave the room so he could be alone with Penelope for a few minutes.

“I honestly don’t want to go” She looked up to him and shot him a sad smile.

“Sorry to burst your bubble, but your job is to save lives” 

“Can I save them from here?” He stopped himself from getting closer to her and holding her.

“You’re more helpful there, now hurry, Emily said wheels up in 30” Garcia took his tablet and gave it to him.

He sighed “Why now? Just when we need to talk?” Penelope took a step back, not trusting herself from not starting physical contact.

“I’m gonna be here when you get back, Luke, now, please hurry, the faster you go and solve the case, the faster you’ll be back”

Luke obliged and went to get his stuff so he could meet the team by the elevator. Penelope waved them goodbye and as the doors closed Luke wondered what had she done to make him fall as hard as he did? He didn’t know it was possible to feel with that much intensity.

Luckily for him, the case didn’t last long, four days and they were back home, he didn’t call her and drove directly to her apartment, not wanting to delay the conversation he so desperately wanted to have.

The shock in Penelope’s face was obvious, it was almost midnight and she didn’t expect him to come straight to her home, she was still coming to terms with that fact she had confessed her love for the man standing in front of her.

“Penelope, we need to talk” As soon as her brain registered the words, she was speechless, that was an ability only Luke had.

It took a few seconds for her to form a coherent sentence “H-how was the case?”

“The case was okay, but that’s not what I wanted to talk about” He pushed his luck and took a step forward, she moved out of the way so he could come in, he placed his go bag on the floor and turned to her, only to be met with her lips on his own.

“Can we not talk right now?” She continued to kiss her was down his neck.

“Pen…” He wanted, no, needed to talk about what would happen next in their relationship but the way her lips moved against his skin made it difficult to think, he placed his hands on her waist and got lost in the energy he felt running through his body any time Penelope kissed him, they would talk the next day.


	7. Maybe I'm afraid

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Inspired by maybe i'm afraid by lovelytheband - Have to say, this song has always given me major Garvez vibes.

_ “ _ _ Maybe I'm just too good _

_ Maybe I'll run away _

_ Maybe I'm over you _

_ Maybe I shouldn't stay _

_ Maybe I just don't care _

_ Maybe I talk too much _

_ But baby I'll be there _

_ Yeah, baby I'll be there _

_ It's been a little hard _

_ I've been a little tough _

_ But maybe all along _

_ I'm afraid, I'm afraid, I'm afraid _

_ I'm afraid, I'm afraid, I'm afraid” _

Luke sighed in frustration as he threw his cellphone in the passenger seat and drove to his apartment, he looked outside the window and realized it look as if it was going to pour. Penelope had been doing an outstanding effort avoiding him, the morning after he had drove to her apartment, Emily informed them the team had another case and it was urgent. That had been two weeks ago, they spent a few days in Indiana and on their way back they had informed about another case in Texas.

They had been back for three days and Penelope had closed off once again, she barely made eye contact with him at work, let alone talk unless it was really necessary, just when he finally thought they were making progress, everything seem to be going backwards.

He hurried to get to his door, it had started raining and he didn’t want to get wet, when he arrived home and he threw his bag on the floor, not caring much where it landed, he grabbed himself a beer and sat on his couch trying to understand the enigma that was Penelope Garcia.

Roxy quickly jumped on the couch to be with him, she sensed he wasn’t feeling good, she rested her head on his thigh and he scratched her ears, smiling softly at his dog, always there for him, no matter what.

“Rox, I don’t know what’s going on with Pen” He needed to say out loud the thoughts going through his mind or else he was going to lose it, he took a sip of his bottle “What am I doing wrong? Am I not doing enough? Am I suffocating her? I seriously don’t know what’s wrong and I want to make things right, I’m in love with her Roxy, I got it bad for Penelope Garcia”

Roxy only looked up at him and he shook his head and let out a dry laugh, it wasn’t as if she could give him the answers he so desperately needed. He remained there, petting Roxy and sipping on his beer until a couple knocks on the door interrupted his feelings.

He automatically went to the door and without thinking he opened it, revealing a soaking wet Penelope on the other side.

“Penelope, wh- “She didn’t give him the chance to finish the question.

“We need to talk” Penelope looked at him with wide eyes.

“Come on in, let me get you some dry clothes” He quickly went to his bedroom and Penelope followed closely behind.

“We need to talk” She repeated and Luke stopped going through his drawers to look at her.

“What’s wrong? Did something happen?” Penelope shook her head and swallowed, sitting on his bed.

“We need to talk about us” He sighed with relief, for a moment he thought something bad had happened to Penelope or to someone else.

“Sure, we’ll do that, but you need to change first” Luke placed a pair of sweats and hoodie beside her.

“No, we need to talk now” She was shivering and he was starting to get worried once again, thinking maybe she was there to end things even before they officially started.

“You are soaking wet and you’re cold, please change while I put on the kettle” He left the room and closed the door behind him, not wanting a no for an answer.

He searched for the kettle he bought when Penelope started to come over, he didn’t really needed one, he was more of a coffee person but Penelope liked tea so he made sure to have one for her.

A few minutes later she appeared in the kitchen and sat on one of the stools and folded her hands on the kitchen island, Luke slid a cup of her favorite tea, another thing he had bought only for her, she looked more calm after drinking half of it, he walked around the island and sat beside her.

“So, are you gonna tell me why you arrived here soaking wet?” He asked softly, thinking it was time they started the conversation, even if it was just so she could break up with him.

She played with the tea bag and avoided looking at him “I told you, I wanted to talk” 

“Well, then let’s” He braced himself for heartbreak.

“Before you, there were other people, I was with Kevin for a considerable amount of time, until he decided he was ready for marriage, and I wasn’t, I didn’t want the same things he did, so after years of being together and working on our relationship I was…” She trailed off and pursed her lips “Heartbroken, confused but also relieved” She fought back the tears, she needed to let everything out before she’d regret it.

She took a few more sips of her tea and thanked Heaven Luke decided to remain silent, she could see him looking at her with his eyebrows furrowed not understanding where the conversation was headed, to be fair neither did she.

“Then there was Sam, I was with him for less time than I was with Kevin but the one thing in common was that we broke up because he wanted to move in together and I didn’t, once again my brain and my heart told me that it wasn’t what I wanted so he eventually broke up with me when he realized I didn’t see a future with him” This time the tears started to fall down her cheeks, she took a deep breath and continued “That’s when I came to the conclusion that I would never want those things” He held his breath, ready for the blow that was coming his way, she turned to see him “But then, you came into my life in a moment where I was heartbroken and alone and convinced I wasn’t made to be in a relationship and you changed that”

Luke fought the urgency to take her into his arms and telling her how much he loved her and how he would do anything to make her happy, Penelope took the empty mug and and walked to the sink, she placed it there, walked past him and headed to the living room.

He followed her and decided to sit on the arm rest while she paced back and forward, Roxy looked at her from one side to the other.

He wanted to hear her say these things, give him a better understanding as to why she acted like this, but now that he knew he was also afraid that she would be to caught up in the idea that she wasn’t made to be in a relationship and even though she had just said that he had changed something in her, she would prefer to not give it a try.

“You showed up with your smile and your kindness and then you started to ask me to hang out with you and without knowing it, I ended up loving being around you, being with you, and then I found myself tangled in this thing we have” She stopped from pacing and faced him “But the surprise was that I wanted it because, Luke Alvez, no one has ever made me feel like this before, and that’s when I realized that it wasn’t that I didn’t want marriage and commitment, it was that I didn’t want those things with either of them, but with you... “ She sobbed “I can see myself wanting those things with you and I’m terrified” This time Luke didn’t stop himself and quickly walked to her to hold her as she cried and cried.

“It’s ok, I’m here” He ran his fingers through her hair and kissed her head, allowing her to let it all out, but the truth was he was feeling a revolution of emotions himself.

She rested her head on his chest “But the thing is, what if as the relationship becomes more serious I back out again? I’m afraid of that happening because I don’t want to lose you”

He separated a little from her and lifted her chin “You’re not losing me, not now and not ever if that’s what you want, I’m not expert on this, being in a relationship and everything but I’m willing to learn as long as it’s with you” He licked his lips “I’m also afraid, all of this is new to me, but we shouldn’t let fear stop us from seeing where this could go”

Penelope looked at him and for one moment, everything seemed okay, she returned to his chest and he rested his head in the crook of her neck, everything would be alright as long as he held her in her in his arms.


	8. I wanna get better

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Penelope already opened her heart to Luke, it's his turn to lay on the table his past.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Inspired by I Wanna Get Better by Bleachers

_ “A _ _ nd I miss the days of a life still permanent _

_ Mourn the years before I got carried away _

_ So now I'm staring at the interstate screaming at myself, _

_ Hey, I wanna get better! _

_ I didn't know I was lonely 'til I saw your face _

_ I wanna get better, better, better, better, _

_ I wanna get better _

_ I didn't know I was broken 'til I wanted to change _

_ I wanna get better, better, better, better, _

_ I wanna get better” _

The next morning, Luke woke up expecting to find her but she wasn’t there, he heard noises outside his bedroom so he quickly got up in an attempt to catch her before she left, he didn’t want her to leave before talking more about their relationship.

When he opened his door he was met by Penelope making breakfast, she was still wearing his clothes, she turned to him and shot him a shy smile.

“Good morning” She returned her focus to the pan as she flipped a pancake.

He walked up to her and kissed her cheek “Good morning indeed, do you need help?” His stomach growled as he smelled the pancakes and fruit that was on the counter.

“No, it’s almost ready, go get dressed and then we’ll have breakfast” He laughed, enjoying the small domestic moment they were having.

“What’s wrong with my outfit?” He glanced down and Penelope rolled her eyes.

“Aren’t you freezing? It’s still pouring outside and you’re only wearing boxers” She stated as she leaned on the counter took a sip from her mug.

“I thought you enjoyed the view” He winked at her and she jokingly rolled her eyes.

“Stop being stubborn, you’ll get sick, go get change or I’m breaking up with you” Penelope turned to get some plates, Luke stood behind her and placed one arm around her waist and with the other reached for the plates.

“Break up with me? You’d need to be my girlfriend to do that” He had a smug smile that she couldn’t see but could picture quite clearly.

She sighed “And what if I wanted to be your girlfriend?” Luke’s face lit up.

“I’ll go get changed and I’ll be right back to talk about that, please don’t change your mind while I’m not here” He returned to brush his teeth, and change into a pair of jeans and a white t-shirt.

When he came back, Penelope was already having breakfast on the table.

“Sorry, newbie, you were taking an eternity and I was starving” She took a bite of her pancake and Luke sat in front of her.

“Thank you for making breakfast” He also took a bite of his own plate “It’s delicious”

“It’s the least I could do after showing up last night unannounced” He glanced at her.

“You are always welcome anytime any day” She bit the inside of her cheek and continued to eat her breakfast.

“I don’t get how you never get cold” She commented after a few minutes, seeing him unbothered by the weather while she wanted to wrap a blanket around herself.

He shrugged “I rarely do, I’ve always been this way” They continued to eat in silence, it wasn’t awkward, it was peaceful.

“So, girlfriend, huh? Are you ready to make things official?” Luke dared to ask directly, not wanting to miss the chance.

She pushed her glasses up the bridge of her nose “If you agree to that then yes, I guess we would be officially a couple” He grinned.

“Well of course, I’ve been wanting to make things official for a while now” He confessed as he leaned across the table and took her hand “I have to confess something though” He pressed his lips together “Last night you expressed your concerns and well, you opened up to me so now I want to also be open with you”

Penelope sensed his nervousness and squeezed his hand “You don’t have to do it unless you really want to”

“I do, I really do, you told me about your past and I wanted to tell you about mine” He lowered his head “Before you there wasn’t really anyone who made me consider a relationship, I’ve dated a few women but I never saw myself being anyone’s anything, I mean it’s no secret I’m kind of a loner, Phil was my only friend until I joined the BAU but before that there wasn’t anyone I was close to beside him” His fingers tapped against the table “During all of my adult life I focused solely on the professional aspect of it, and you know, I don’t think I ever told this to anyone, not even Phil but I was never the same after Iraq, I mean how could I? I lost friends out there, it’s hard to care for someone after that, then what happened to Phil and seeing his life being thrown upside down by Cullen, I closed myself off for a long time, that’s why I think the fugitive task force was good for me, it kept me busy, but when Hotch offered me the job at the BAU, there was something that told me it was time for a fresh start, I’d still travel a lot but I wouldn’t be undercover, it was a chance to get my life back in a way and you played a huge part in that”

She felt a knot in her stomach, trying to understand how difficult it was for him to go through many losses “How so?” 

“It may sound really stupid but I think it was until I met you that I knew I didn’t want to be alone anymore, and at the beginning it wasn’t in a romantic way but the way you cared for the rest of the team and the way they cared for each other made me want to be a part of it, I wanted to be a part of something” 

Penelope was touched by his words, everyone knew that Luke didn’t share much about his life, but even before today he had shared with her and only her, details about his family, his childhood, he had even told her some embarrassing stories from his teenage years but Luke never talked about his previous years to the BAU, she had figured it was a delicate subject and she understood so she never asked about it, and now that he was baring his soul to her, she felt very thankful to be the one he decided to confide in.

“It’s not stupid, Luke” She reached for his hand across the table “Thank you for telling me this, I appreciate the fact that out of all people it’s me you feel comfortable talking about this” She paused for a second “And I’m glad that what you saw in us was something you wanted to be a part of, we all feel so lucky to have you as a part of our family”

“I’m not one to think much about why things happen but being around you has convinced life put me exactly where I needed to be so I could cross paths with you, you made me want to get better, to be better” He squeezed her hand and she smiled in return.

“I guess we both have things to work through and I’d love to have you by my side while I discover exactly how to do it and I mean it when I say I want to be by your side as you also work on yourself” Luke’s jaw tensed as he fought the tears back, he was overwhelmed with emotions he had never felt before, he was afraid of even thinking it, because it might have been considered too early but he felt in his heart that this was it, that Penelope was it.


End file.
